Funny Girl
Posted By Hinda Mandell on December 15, 2009
Only once did someone tell me I resembled Barbra Steisand. But once is enough. Telling a 29 year old that she resembles a 67 year old famous for her shnoz is enough to humble an ego fit for Alexander the Great. And my ego is more on par with a muppet’s.
Perhaps I’m a masochist. Or perhaps I just wanted a bit of truth serum. Either way, I wanted to find out whether I did resemble the great songstress.
Imagine my delight when a night out on the town with the Faigel and another friend brought us to the city’s gay dance establishment. I was the only skirt in the place and feeling particularly punchy. I looked up at the televisions playing over the bar and saw my likeness crooning back at me. Oh Barbra, there she was circa 1970.
Maybe it was the strobe light or the dance pole or the company: Regardless, a light bulb suddenly went on upstairs. Here, in this hot-blooded location, I could find the answer to my question by asking the dance club’s patrons! If anyone would be able to give me a straight answer, it was them.
The Faigel helped break the ice by approaching the fellows at the bar.
“Excuse me,” he began. “This woman would like to know if she resembles Barbra Streisand.”
Response rates varied, but only slightly. One man asked me to turn my head so he could examine my profile (that was encouraging). A couple others simply smiled and nodded yes. Two men on two separate occasions poo-pooed the Barbra Streisand comparison. To them, I more closely resembled our co-religionist Sarah Silverman.
That made me feel a wee bit better.
I can’t report the exact tally or whether there was a decisive verdict that evening. While I kept tabs of the nays, yeahs and what-do-you-say’s, I also happened to misplace the napkin that acted as my scorecard.
Oh well. Something to write a song about one day. In the meantime I’ll be my own Funny Girl.
I don’t think you look like her, or Sarah Silverman. I didn’t even notice your nose until you told me the Barbra story at brunch (?) and then noticed it and thought, no, not a schnoz. And you’re much prettier than Chelsea, of course!
By the way, a muppet’s ego? Brilliant. What Muppet would you be, though?